What Marilyn can teach us about love

What Marilyn can teach us about love
I love Marilyn Monroe, I always have. Her vulnerability, radiant beauty and intelligence.
Clearly, she craved love, and yet it alluded her, but despite this, there is something Marilyn can indeed say to us about love.

Let me share with you an idea for a love story.

I was transfixed. The young woman whose voice channelled across the internet was speaking directly to me, or so it seemed, extolling the benefits of her new-found fitness routine, her new-found body. A fitness regimen that had apparently changed her life, this was indeed a wonderful, life changing event. I was hooked. Finally, the body she had always dreamt of was a reality. That’s fantastic I thought. Everyone should be this happy, this confident, this full of joy. So elated in fact, that she started to cry. Tears of joy! Finally, she loved who she was! Up to this point, I was feeling somewhat enthusiastic and a little guilty that I was not as motivated to work out as everyone else in the video testimonials, well, at least not since Jane Fonda pushed me to my limits back in the 80’s.

 

Sure, I exercise, and if you’re serious about ageing positively you better make sure you do too.  Moving in some way every day is an essential element in your daily habits if you ever hope to maintain your health well into old age.
Small rant over, now back to our girl. This joy was becoming infectious; I was feeling happy for her, in fact by now I am starting to feel ecstatic for her. But then she said something disturbing. In her words, on her newly acquired body, she said this. 

I look beautiful for the first time, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say that. You know, I look beautiful, without worrying about what other people think. I don’t care anymore about what other people think..

It’s around about now I start to feel a little better about my attitude towards body shape and image. Why does our size and our body image impact on our lives so much, keeps us awake at night, makes us feel miserable, out of control and unhappy? But as I pondered this, I was struck by how deeply troubled she was at the thought of what others would think of her. 
Why Oh why do we care so much about what others think?  If only she’d exclaimed, she felt fitter, with more energy in the longest time.  Her clothes fit in a way that made her feel comfortable, confident and sexy. Her skin; glowing like never before, and a clear mind to love herself as she is. All good feelings. All feelings that translate into a better attitude to life, to confidence, to feeling empowered.
 
As Marilyn, herself summed up so beautifully.

To all the girls that think you are ugly because you are not a size 0, you are the beautiful one; it is society who is ugly..

Marilyn Monroe

Before I go on, I must preface what I am about to say with this; having a body that you love, that makes you feel good, that doesn’t send you into a fit of depression whenever you go shopping for clothes is a very good thing. 
Of course, I think it’s great to look and feel good, in your skin, in your body. These things make life better. I’m not and will never pretend the feeling of having a fit body is not a good feeling. It does matter. 
My point? It’s about loving you! Yep, I know. I can hear you say, but why then is it so elusive? Why does our lack of loving manifest itself in so many behaviours that just don’t serve us well? 
I don’t want to be a walking cliché, but… I will, just this once. Your self-love is what will keep you beautiful, fit and healthy, because all your choices will be based on LOVE. Your love of you, not others.. because, ultimately you will be more loveable and have infinitely more love in your life if you love yourself more.
 
Did Marilyn love herself enough? Probably not, despite her beauty, despite all her well-dimensioned assets. But still, she understood pragmatically how important her opinion of herself was and not that of others or as she put it, of societies.  
Marilyn had an intimate view of public adoration, of physical beauty and how it impacts on our lives and not necessarily bringing happiness with it.

 The expectations we put on ourselves should lead to our own happiness not that of others..

Do you have a view? Does a fit, healthy body mean so much because of what others think of you? Or have you finally found the one true love of your life?  Leave a comment below I’d love to know how you tackle your “self-love.”

Julie